I find it funny and kinda sad that people go in the continuous circles. mad people in mad places doing mad things. Wondering around as if the sense of distance will surface their problems. Doing the same things at the same time with the same people. Monotonous life. Worn out faces and places cover their lives, drowning them in routine and schedule. The distance they cover gets them no where but there. They cry and dwell in their lives, suffering, miserable, alone. Everyone is alone. Alone to live, alone to die, alone to succeed in an impossible world. Children with the illusion of life, the smiles and success, the money and families. This is not life. Life is dreary and lonely.
lonely is such a perfect word. Everyone is lonely. Lonely is the substance of life. Without it everyone be lost. However, recognizing that they're alone gives meaning, and something to reach for. Depressing isn't it? but being lonely is healthy. It makes you appreciate company when you have it. Without company, one would be alone, like everyone else.
Trippiest video. check it out here
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
13/1/10
Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I could get lost in it. The face staring back at me does not look like me. It does not move, speak, or feel like I do. The eyes are hollow, empty and cold. They search the face for some familiarity, however, through all the searching there is hope.
hope.
Excitement and curiosity, the eyes ready for adventure and for life to start. For this so start.
Feeling sheltered and closed.
Unmoving and alone.
Love me.
I put on my make up trying to make it seem more like me, covering my flaws and masking my frown. I turn to my room and look around. Pictures and posters, interests and memories. memories I want to forget. Living in the past brings pain to the present. Flooded with memories. Tears swell. I'm pathetic.
Can I make myself up with paint and movement, each brush stroke a new mark? Redoing myself over making something to want. I want someone to want me. Someone to notice me and what i do. Someone to love me.
Thought I had that with you.
Melting like ice cream in June when you're in the room.
Invincible together, facing the future hand in hand.
The future runs at us, my palm is hollow.
I look to you and you're not there.
Forced to face this world alone.
Why don't you want me?
I can love, I can smile, I can give you everything.
Love me.
Wednesday night I'm sitting on my bed.
Fingers are tired, numbness building.
Musics playing, drowning out the world.
My mind races to you.
Everything comes to you.
A good song.
A hot day.
A single moment and my mind, my heart, is yours.
My mind frazzles, memories, images, thoughts of you.
Need to rest, put my mind at ease.
Sleep, a chance to dream, an escape from reality.
A chance to love you without fear.
I love sleep, it brings me to you.
If only I was with you, if it would bring me to you,
I would sleep for my whole life.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
resolutions
New years resolutions.
- Be completely honest and open
- Trust people
- Have fun
- Experiment
- Do what I want
- Finish summer readings
- Do well in Year 13
- Get into Uni.
Friday, January 1, 2010
freedom
People need freedom.
Confinement and cages.
Leashes and Collars.
They are no longer just for the use of animals, but for people and society. We are not expressive nor are we free.
We are systematic and automatic.
We are sheltered and cornered.
We have all this potential within us to just break out! To go against the norm and to just scream from within selves and unleash an entirely new generation.
One free of war and law.
One free of regulations and restrictions.
The only law to follow is the law of the people and the law of the people is to be true to ourselves. We make our own laws.
Jimi Hendrix said it, "Are you experienced?" Black Sabbath said it, "We sold our souls for rock and roll". The question of our lives as said by Jimi himself, the truth behind his words is that we are not because we do not embrace and experience life; but what Black Sabbath doesn't know, is that our generation and the people we are surrounded by every day for all our lives, did not sell their soul for music, let alone rock and roll, but for law and power.
All life is today is power.
What's power?!
Power is just a word used to trap us even further in our caves by giving us this image of a lower standing than someone else. And due to this lower social status, we cannot fully be free.
Well I say Fuck power.
Fuck all the people who stand over us.
Fuck the ones who tell you you aren't good enough and you are stupid for all the decisions you make.
The only wrong decisions and examples of being 'not good enough' are them. The ones in suits and the ones in costume. Because behind their costumes and their suits they are nothing. So we as the general public hold the power.
We are the ones with the freedom. So I say go out, be free, and fuck power, it's only there to hold you back.
Confinement and cages.
Leashes and Collars.
They are no longer just for the use of animals, but for people and society. We are not expressive nor are we free.
We are systematic and automatic.
We are sheltered and cornered.
We have all this potential within us to just break out! To go against the norm and to just scream from within selves and unleash an entirely new generation.
One free of war and law.
One free of regulations and restrictions.
The only law to follow is the law of the people and the law of the people is to be true to ourselves. We make our own laws.
Jimi Hendrix said it, "Are you experienced?" Black Sabbath said it, "We sold our souls for rock and roll". The question of our lives as said by Jimi himself, the truth behind his words is that we are not because we do not embrace and experience life; but what Black Sabbath doesn't know, is that our generation and the people we are surrounded by every day for all our lives, did not sell their soul for music, let alone rock and roll, but for law and power.
All life is today is power.
What's power?!
Power is just a word used to trap us even further in our caves by giving us this image of a lower standing than someone else. And due to this lower social status, we cannot fully be free.
Well I say Fuck power.
Fuck all the people who stand over us.
Fuck the ones who tell you you aren't good enough and you are stupid for all the decisions you make.
The only wrong decisions and examples of being 'not good enough' are them. The ones in suits and the ones in costume. Because behind their costumes and their suits they are nothing. So we as the general public hold the power.
We are the ones with the freedom. So I say go out, be free, and fuck power, it's only there to hold you back.
Friday, December 18, 2009
XXX
Song to this post: "3" Britney Spears
So sex. Now I am certainly no expert on the matter and as much as I talk about it to my friends and due to my openness about the subject have been called a Carrie of my time before, it is still one of those controversial topics. Many people say that with someone you have just met or even a good friend of yours, there are two things that one should not discuss. Politics and religion. That expression has been about for many, many years but in today's society with its ever changing economy and financial difficulties its hard not to discuss politics with someone due to the current government and their choices to regulate the economy. It is also hard not to discuss religion once you get onto the topic of economy and the government because of the war in Iraq. These two subjects are very controversial and rarely used as an opening subject, however, why has sex become so secretive and hidden as well?
Ones sex life as many would be uncomfortable discussing because it is a private matter, is still a natural thing. It's a simple, intimate, and completely sensual act. When you first meet someone I do not expect you to waltz up and introduce yourself with "Hello, my name is ***** and my favorite position is doggy style." No. Not that exactly. But especially with at least children or teens today it is such a hushed subject. In school we are rarely truly educated on the subject and the precautions needed for protection and many of teenagers, especially young girls, are fearful to go to their parents for help or guidance. I can personally speak with that I am 17, I am not a virgin and have been "sexually active" for a year, and am still fearful of my parents, or even my mum finding out. I realize posting this on my blog is not the smartest idea because there is a way of my mum or dad reading this, though that is highly unlikely. The only thing I would like to ask you is that why are we in today's society, unless you are in your thirties in which the magazines such as Glamour and Cosmo etc. say it is acceptable to broadcast your sex life, so sheltered? We have the media encouraging it with TV shows, music with artists like Christina Agularea and Britney Spears, and magazines giving you how-to's.
The things we need to know we can get online, we can confide in our friends about relationship problems and no longer need the "mother daughter" talk in order to have sex. There are teenagers who can be pregnant, have an abortion, and their parents would never know. Things that would have been disgraceful 50 years ago is now alright and a typical aspect of a teenagers life. There are girls who are having intercourse when they are 14 or even younger. There are TV shows on MTV about being 16 and pregnant. Despite it being such an everyday thing and in correspondence to having "16 and Pregnant" on MTV they also have "Sex with Mom and Dad" on that channel encouraging teens to talk to their parents. I personally could not imagine having that "sit down" with my mum as much as I would like to I just feel as though it would terribly awkward and we would just not be the same due to the time that has lapsed between my contemplation of it and the act itself, and the time from then to now. As much as sex is an open topic within society, within house holds an even the relationships, it is still such an uncomfortable, controversial topic.
So to conclude, I am not saying that sex is as controversial as politics or religion unless you are discussing sex as in gender and the science being used today in order for you to be capable of choosing the sex of your child, or the ever so controversial topic of same sex marriage, but just that sex is OK, it is natural, and it is something that if something were to go wrong with, it is best to have your parents know and be on your side. So this is just to all those girls out there who are contemplating it or indulging it in, be open about it. Your parents could in some instances help.
Quote for this post: "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times"
So sex. Now I am certainly no expert on the matter and as much as I talk about it to my friends and due to my openness about the subject have been called a Carrie of my time before, it is still one of those controversial topics. Many people say that with someone you have just met or even a good friend of yours, there are two things that one should not discuss. Politics and religion. That expression has been about for many, many years but in today's society with its ever changing economy and financial difficulties its hard not to discuss politics with someone due to the current government and their choices to regulate the economy. It is also hard not to discuss religion once you get onto the topic of economy and the government because of the war in Iraq. These two subjects are very controversial and rarely used as an opening subject, however, why has sex become so secretive and hidden as well?
Ones sex life as many would be uncomfortable discussing because it is a private matter, is still a natural thing. It's a simple, intimate, and completely sensual act. When you first meet someone I do not expect you to waltz up and introduce yourself with "Hello, my name is ***** and my favorite position is doggy style." No. Not that exactly. But especially with at least children or teens today it is such a hushed subject. In school we are rarely truly educated on the subject and the precautions needed for protection and many of teenagers, especially young girls, are fearful to go to their parents for help or guidance. I can personally speak with that I am 17, I am not a virgin and have been "sexually active" for a year, and am still fearful of my parents, or even my mum finding out. I realize posting this on my blog is not the smartest idea because there is a way of my mum or dad reading this, though that is highly unlikely. The only thing I would like to ask you is that why are we in today's society, unless you are in your thirties in which the magazines such as Glamour and Cosmo etc. say it is acceptable to broadcast your sex life, so sheltered? We have the media encouraging it with TV shows, music with artists like Christina Agularea and Britney Spears, and magazines giving you how-to's.
The things we need to know we can get online, we can confide in our friends about relationship problems and no longer need the "mother daughter" talk in order to have sex. There are teenagers who can be pregnant, have an abortion, and their parents would never know. Things that would have been disgraceful 50 years ago is now alright and a typical aspect of a teenagers life. There are girls who are having intercourse when they are 14 or even younger. There are TV shows on MTV about being 16 and pregnant. Despite it being such an everyday thing and in correspondence to having "16 and Pregnant" on MTV they also have "Sex with Mom and Dad" on that channel encouraging teens to talk to their parents. I personally could not imagine having that "sit down" with my mum as much as I would like to I just feel as though it would terribly awkward and we would just not be the same due to the time that has lapsed between my contemplation of it and the act itself, and the time from then to now. As much as sex is an open topic within society, within house holds an even the relationships, it is still such an uncomfortable, controversial topic.
So to conclude, I am not saying that sex is as controversial as politics or religion unless you are discussing sex as in gender and the science being used today in order for you to be capable of choosing the sex of your child, or the ever so controversial topic of same sex marriage, but just that sex is OK, it is natural, and it is something that if something were to go wrong with, it is best to have your parents know and be on your side. So this is just to all those girls out there who are contemplating it or indulging it in, be open about it. Your parents could in some instances help.
Quote for this post: "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times"
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Love. . .
Song to this post: "Love Remains the same" Gavin Rossdale
I know how majority of people wonder what love is. That there is no one term or definition to define love, that it's just something you feel and know straight away. In the movie "Dan in Real Life" the boyfriend says that "Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability". If that's true then do you need to be super talented to love? And then if so there are the people who say that everyone has someone out there who loves them, so then everyone is talented in love? I understand that I'm young and that my perception of love is different than that of someone who is 80 years old, but does age change your interpretation and knowledge of love? When you're young are you not really experiencing love but just a very strong, intense, infatuation? Do we as children or people of a younger age desire "love" so much just because we have seen it in movies and heard of its wonders; leading us to, in our minds, create love for another person? Do we simply mistake infatuation and lust for love just because we want love? If that is not the case and we are capable of feeling love at any age, then why does love rarely work out when we are younger; was that then not love? You can be so involved with a person emotionally and physically and mentally that you imagine this euphoria of love. That even years after their departure from your relationship aspect of life, when you see them and talk to them, you fall for them all over again. If someone treats you horribly emotionally and not how you deserve, yet you still want to be with them and am still convinced its love, then is it? I suppose the ultimate question is what is love? Some say that "love is the souls recognition of its counterpart in another", others say that love is loss; such as Goncourt, "Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence." With each definition and quote, with every book and movie, with each relationship and heartbreak, does love change? Is love to forever be just a word used to describe a situation amongst two people and that love is not a thing, but an ever changing, never ending, list of possibilities? Love is different to everyone, it can be the smell of an old book, the sound of rain, the wind in your hair or even mums spaghetti, but I suppose the real definition to love is this: "Love is not feeling, it's an experience."
I know how majority of people wonder what love is. That there is no one term or definition to define love, that it's just something you feel and know straight away. In the movie "Dan in Real Life" the boyfriend says that "Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability". If that's true then do you need to be super talented to love? And then if so there are the people who say that everyone has someone out there who loves them, so then everyone is talented in love? I understand that I'm young and that my perception of love is different than that of someone who is 80 years old, but does age change your interpretation and knowledge of love? When you're young are you not really experiencing love but just a very strong, intense, infatuation? Do we as children or people of a younger age desire "love" so much just because we have seen it in movies and heard of its wonders; leading us to, in our minds, create love for another person? Do we simply mistake infatuation and lust for love just because we want love? If that is not the case and we are capable of feeling love at any age, then why does love rarely work out when we are younger; was that then not love? You can be so involved with a person emotionally and physically and mentally that you imagine this euphoria of love. That even years after their departure from your relationship aspect of life, when you see them and talk to them, you fall for them all over again. If someone treats you horribly emotionally and not how you deserve, yet you still want to be with them and am still convinced its love, then is it? I suppose the ultimate question is what is love? Some say that "love is the souls recognition of its counterpart in another", others say that love is loss; such as Goncourt, "Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence." With each definition and quote, with every book and movie, with each relationship and heartbreak, does love change? Is love to forever be just a word used to describe a situation amongst two people and that love is not a thing, but an ever changing, never ending, list of possibilities? Love is different to everyone, it can be the smell of an old book, the sound of rain, the wind in your hair or even mums spaghetti, but I suppose the real definition to love is this: "Love is not feeling, it's an experience."
Saturday, December 12, 2009
new post
So I'm sitting here pondering as to what to write for this post. I could write about life and its troubles, could write about society and its conformist tendency's, could write about the inevitable heartbreak of love and its great pleasures and its partner pain, but what about a positive post? How about one that makes the reader smile or laugh or even, if they're not very humorous people, make the corners of their mouths crease upwards? That sounds uplifting, enjoyable, a good read. Now if I could only find something to do that. We could discuss politics which my friend Bryan constantly bugs me about, my views could possibly make a conservative laugh due to my "stupidity" of being a libertarian. We could discuss music and the lack of original lyrics in todays pop culture, example, Britney Spears and her new song "3" about, as you can probably tell, threesomes and even foursomes. We could discuss the great holiday cheer and christmas spirit, the eggnog and gingerbread houses, the snow and cold, shivering, frostbitten air. But we won't. Because as you all hopefully know whom are reading this I live in New Zealand. None of that is here. No cold, no snow, no eggnog, no gingerbread houses, and least of all holiday cheer. Unless that conists of bickering parents and fights and disgust? Then no, none of that. But that is neither positive nor uplifting, so new topic. Ok how about some funny videos from youtube? Always a hit on these blog things right?!
Baby doing the Stanky Leg dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkzXt9ZTwEE
Possesed Cat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdVWQsE-8gM
Pixar Intro. Parody:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFK_XuVqsCQ&feature=sub
Enjoy!
Baby doing the Stanky Leg dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkzXt9ZTwEE
Possesed Cat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdVWQsE-8gM
Pixar Intro. Parody:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFK_XuVqsCQ&feature=sub
Enjoy!
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