Saturday, October 30, 2010
I'm exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally, spiritually, which ever way is possible. It's sad getting to this point. The point where i feel like the life is being sucked out of me. Where everything I do is pointless and worthless. Where even sleeping is a mission because even in my dreams it's reflecting reality. I wish were so simple sometimes. To go back to childhood memories and innocence. The times where when it was sunny the last thing you wanted to do was be inside. Where you could play all day with no worries of anything. Where when you fought with your friends you just hug, apologize and it's all sorted out. Now-a-days you don't even know who your friends are because most of them are talking behind your back about either you or another one of their "so called friends". Where you can't get a straight or honest answer out of anyone. Being a kid was so easy and care-free. Now it's all worries and money and jobs and school. It's like everything we took for granted then is everything we want now. The simplicity. The lack of sense in a way. The purity and complete freedom to be who we were. The freedom to not be judged or to judge. To just like a person and be friends with them and not have to worry about rumors or drama or two faced people who can't make up their minds about liking a person. The pure sense of happiness and joy. Just being able to smile constantly and not worry about heartbreak or loss. To just embrace life as it came as it was given. Now it's different. It's worrying about every single thing to the point of obsession. One thing that can bring us back to our innocence and days of naivety is art I suppose. Music, drawing, acting anything. Being something we're not, showing who we are or expressing ourselves without having to say a word. Through art one can come alive int themselves again. Not be exhausted with life. With worries and woes. Just be us. For the short time that we have it we can embrace ourselves. The one thing that lets us live.